union market shit.



This wrap-up post is long overdue, but what else is new? I mean, other than the hundreds of new readers and dwellers; hello hello cousins, welcome, pop a squat.


First of all, let me say my dear foodies who have been waiting for their time to shine, our time is now! emporiyum. What you may ask, the hell is that. Well, it's a cute curated collection of natural, home-grown, or just plain good healthy food with a dash a meats, emphasis on the dash that shit was gone so quick..., a sprinkle of sweets, and a dribble of teas. All lined up covering two floors in the outdoorsy space of Union Market, discounts prepped, samples ready.


They,empori..ers, actually define this network as a "one-of-a-kind food marketplace featuring the tastiest treats from around the country. Discover delicious foods and purchase thoughtful gifts and top-quality products from a lineup of artisans you won’t find anywhere else". music, drank, the whole shebang.

We were all pure and virgins to this, my friends to family, my bigs and some of my LS, so we all ventured together into this not so blackish sorta unknown. Mind you we had a decent idea of how the event was going to go down but had never experienced it.

Well first we were going to buy tickets to the 11 AM designation. The way it was arranged was there were a multitude of ticket options. But specific to our bank account's wants and needs, there was the "regular entry" which I believe had a skip line incentive for 11 AM on day 2 and then there was the "late entry" option which meant entering at 1:30. Groupon told us we needed that 11 AM ticket okay and we neglected to argue. We also neglected to buy the tickets.




Luckily the tickets didn't sell out but we definitely went for the..less demanding option of the 1:30 time entry.
Alright fast-forward to our grand entry. Thankfully there was no line, we strolled right on in, our stomachs shamefully growling therefore our hopes inadvertently high. From there it was just a walking game. Or in our case a who-can-finagle-the-most-out-of-these-booths competition. Of course the more water the food entices from your mouth, the tighter the booth-owners are clutching onto the freebies so it really just turned into who can get drunk quicker off of their honey wine. Yes you heard me...read me correctly. Wine made out of honey. Ladies and gentlemen we are capable of all things.


I stumbled upon Zest tea which I had coincidentally been researching not even a week before the event. Tired of suffering from shitty-booty, along with the rest of the 3 floors of my office, I was looking for a different caffeine option. Also knowing I hate tea, I still was hearing out the option lol. It's actually almost creepy how I walked up to their booth, not knowing their company name and even if I did I wouldn't have recognized it and literally saying yeah I hate tea, but I've been looking for this tea with more caffeine that coffee...oh shoot that's you guys! I tried some, hated some but actually tasted a few I wouldn't wretch at the smell. I was able to buy single sachets and I think I'll do a review on it because my first impression was almost too good. I planned on buying 5, they were a dollar each and I was super satisfied, then the booth guy who had been making some eyes that I routinely ignored, threw like 5 more my way after I paid. Now...I will not say no to such a thoughtful gesture. fin.a.gle.


 




Funny enough, this is where things began to get interesting. Chyna ended up getting into an oral brawl in one of those "uber vs. lyft" arguments..with a lyft rep, in leaving we stumbled ~said very loosely. more so were plopped right into~ a Jesus themed food RV filled with what I could swear on life were male strippers of the middle east, and finally we found ourselves in a hipster pub that only sold rum. Turn of events, I'll say.

We split ways after this and what turned into the typical carpool-drop-off scenario was suddenly hijacked into a search for seafood...in Maryland. Which should not have been an enduring task for obvious reasons yet alas, lol we roamed for hours before finally settling onnnnn one of the first places we started on to begin with! Headaches. Classicly one of my best days.


This outfit, much like many things I've been putting together lately, was just thrown together but with a little more effort than I've been normally giving. I believe this is contributing to my depression because I really do enjoy sitting and thinking of ensembles, piecing things together is so so very therapeutic. Lately I haven't even really been in much of the mood. No good. This skirt was supposed to arrive earlier than it did so I basically recreated the 'fit I was going to wear with it, just with a different top and shoes seeing as though I actually outdid its combo already (when clothes arrive late but you still make it look sexy).

Don't mind my mood, I hate it when I imagine something is going to be a way, visually you all know how I get with my visuals, and it doesn't work out. I can only get mad at and to myself about it because I'm the only one! who knows the potential and what it could've otherwise looked like. Nobody else and not that anybody even cares as much in any case. I had envisioned the editing going in a whole other direction for this. But seeing as though I've been going through some thangs lately and more than definitely dragging my feet to even open my closet let alone thinking through an editing difficulty. Anyway, yes my adventures with emporiyum have temporarily paused with high hopes of crashing their food party again in the future ;)

xxoo missusmonroe

22 reasons

I think I've been avoiding this.


Fuck it, yes I have been running away. I blamed it on writer's block...and yes I obviously have a blockage but I also call bullshit. I blamed it on not having enough time, but I still don't have enough of that and I probably never will so what else is new. I've started this post many times before, once even before my last post, another mid summer, another probably early September and at least two more times before I am here today. And I'm still not sure if I'm going to end up saying anything at all, which has definitely been a major deterrent.

I have always wanted this blog to as open and honest as I am, even more so because that is just what's organic to me. And one thing I hate is a pretend-pretend blog or story that makes life and situations appear to be so dandy when they just honestly are not most of the time. However, as open and transparent as I am, I can also be very very private and it's an odd combination but somehow it makes up ya girl right here *fat Ye shrug*
I know it's because people take your openness and craft it into a weakness, then use said weakness as ammunition to bring you down to whatever low lying fruit they're dwelling in that I hesitate and have been hesitating. I'm not an idiot; I won't let my life's frictions, or triumphs for that matter, be made into a spiteful  twitter thread of groupme topic. I've been battling with this; my writing is similar to a diary to me, just far more creative, and I want to just express some shitty shit sometimes in the best way I know will resound in my spirit. It's crazy.. for some time I thought I just wasn't feeling. Like et all. But knowing the amount of feels I carry, that was as clear as day on the verge of denial.

"I think I'm not too sure how I can express everything" started me off the last time I attempted. "I don't even know where to start. In a second I literally feel the weight of the world and life literally crumbling around me, then in the next moment I've convinced myself everything is fine, that it's all okay. A really eerie calm overtakes me that I literally feel in my bones is crazy. On the verge of tears nearly daily and emotionless simultaneously." Two days later I was so removed from my woeful paragraphs that it didn't feel just to go through with a post. I want to say I was in a really different place, but I wasn't. I'm not there right at this moment, I've sort of climbed over a hill and am continuing to move forward but it's one of those hills where you see another slope not too far away. Looming over your shoulder is your not-so-distant past and taunting you is your ominous future. 

Even in just typing this I'm so over myself. One second I'm frantic, an emoting disarray then the next I'm calling myself dramatic and refusing to listen to my damn self.

I'm just in such a weird standstill in life right now, not too long ago things were diving downwards, headfirst. Godspeed. Now it's a wonderful 360 but even upwards and moving forward comes with drawbacks, unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Yet still. 

Today I turned 22; I had a pretty good weekend leading up to it, I have so many posts to catch up on honestly. My history with birthdays..  I’ve had pretty rocky birthdays since ever, crazy enough because I absolutely love birthdays. I feel like I say this every year and by the time it gets to my next earth strong niggas either forget or reflect how much I’m the only one who cares. Either or. It’s literally always a thing where I never feel like anyone besides me gives a shit, unless it's some full-blown escapade that me alone plans and takes the full weight of, which would be just fine if I didn’t try to make others feel as special as possible on their day. So it sucks. It sucks ass. This year..a little different in that regard but not by a milestone. The day started off horribly, as much as I tried to look at it in a positive light, but did end drunk so there’s in fact an upside. I ended up feeling some special and appreciation later but there was that really sensi part of the day where, as cliche and as much as I tried avoiding it, I felt no where at all. Which is crazy because I’ve literally accomplished so much and have made ways out of no way this year like no other. But when that dark cloud comes over your shoulder, it is so hard to avoid it.

The wilder part is just how much I was agreeing with my kicking myself in the ass.. I just want so much more and it’s shocking me because I’ve always had goals but I’ve also always been a relatively content person. I’m not super crazy competitive and I try to compare my accomplishments to my accomplishments, not yours or hers. I’m not sure what all those thoughts I had for hours means or what all those shitty emotions meant either, and why I had to feel them at that moment on that day. I did and it's a part of life, my reality, and everyday thoughts and as much as I feel like running in the opposite direction of them, I've done so many things right why must I feel this way yadda yadda, I have to face them headon.

I got this great new opportunity of growth that I'm excited about and it's challenging me to meet even more expectations of myself and I was in an onboarding orientation where all week, the seminars and informationals had been short of drowse inducing, no matter how interesting and addictive cups of lates with double espresso and shit inducing Belvita, it's just too *** early in the morning. This one particular session was focused on how to survive within the company: immediate intrigue. The VP was comparing so many lessons to obscure things I would've sworn he was a guest pastor at Alfred Street; one thing in particular he said while comparing life and survival to a deathly white-water rafting trip he took was that in the midst of chaos you would like to paddle in the opposite direction. This however will lead to the water grasping your control; instead, don't hesitate and steer yourself head-on into chaos and take control yourself. I'm paraphrasing but the idea has stuck with me ever since.

This isn't one of those posts with pictures or a happy conclusion. The intriguing part of a blog is you get to be with me along every ride (well those that I share, honestly) and you get to see that in real life, each day or lull doesn't end with a "but all is well now, I learned and I'm happy!" Sometimes it's just, "hey man, this is where I am right now", "not positive which direction life is going to move me next" or a "well shit..at least I'm alive" and that just has to be okay. The cool thing is a lot of us are at this same age, this same millennial generation, these similar life points/realizations and feelings so we can actually remotely relate. I'm just actually speaking up through the life is perfect transitioning adulting silence. I guess that's what the purpose of this was and I couldn't see it until it was done because its purpose wasn't for me.

xxoo missusmonroe

La Cubana


This was a completely, unplanned and spontaneous trip on my part. I knew that for this birthday, I DID want to do something but I wasn't sure what. I talked about doing a yoga experience with some friends and maybe having a girl's night out but I wasn't sure. I really wanted to go to the Grand Canyon with one of my friends but the tab was slowly adding up and we decided to look for other places. My friend jokingly mentioned Cuba and I said that if she was serious, I was as well. We booked tickets and never looked back. Cuba was an experience that I simply can't explain. Magical is really corny. Serendipitous sounds forced and contrived. I'll just use the word "right" for now. From the people that we met, to the places that we visited, even the food we ate. Havana, Cuba will always have a place in my heart. Below are just a few pictures that I took of this magical place.








Down in Jozi

I am finally getting to this South Africa post! I was based mostly in Johannesburg during my time ,so therefore all of my exploits were in that city. SA was unlike anything I had previously experienced.. In terms of Africa, I had only gotten the chance to explore the more, western countries, so everything in SA was a breath of fresh air. It was beautiful to see so many people of different ethnicities and backgrounds. SA is a place that I could definitely myself coming back to for the long-term.

And if it was meant to be, then so it shall be


If I actually created a graduation cap, lol, this would have been apart of the quote. "And if it was meant to be, then so it shall be. Pyramids don't get built in a day."


There's a lot to explain about these last few months that I simply can't explain all at once. And a lot I can't explain at all. But it truly has been a whirlwind, a mess, a joy, a pain, the struggle upon all struggles.. The last time I was here I was feeling anxious about my post graduation steps; as you can see, well I've finally reached "here" but I can't help but feel no where at all really. And that I'm not here. I'm not sure where I am, I know it's on a way but because I don't know which way in the grand scheme of things, it isn't much of a place to be. 

For a person who loves being spontaneous and adventurous, I sure hate not having a solid plan when I feel I need to have one. I like things to be up in the air but am anxious about my inability to control what I don't want to be a surprise.


In reflection, a great summary of these past 4 years.. is that I SURE TAKE MAJOR Ls. Don't get me wrong, I've had magnanimous achievements and learned so much about what actually pushes me and how far I am willing to go and subsequently can go.. but an even greater lesson was how many damn Ls it takes to get there. And I took some MAJOR, continuous losses. I still am to be quite frank. They were hard to swallow and even harder to push aside in order to move past. I appreciate transparency because these past years have not been a walk in the park and should never be viewed as such. School is not for everybody, sheesh most aspects of life as well, but I digress. But I'm also (kind of) grateful for all of my experiences and tears and dramatics thus far, because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be as appreciative as I can say I am now. I wouldn't be as driven and determined as I am now. I wouldn't be as present.


But now here I am. I've literally been in school for 18 years; that is such a damn long time. That's a whole human's lifespan. That's a jail sentence. That's the time it takes writers to master a novel... that's a lot of time to even possibly feel wasted. That's a lot of time to feel just disappeared, a lot of time to not be able to recount or trace. I'm having a hard time getting all the correct words in their designated order in this one because that's exactly where I am. I know the end, I have moves, I want a plan but I honestly do not think that's feasible so I'm stuck. Stuck without reassurance and having to solely rely on trusting the dark; faith. It's funny, not really, how you can put faith in every other thing because you're against a wall and literally must but not so much your own original thoughts simply because they've been backseated for so long and you actually gave yourself that option otherwise. Yes, you. Them. Me. Us.

no longer.

I realize this could just be an opportunity for change. This would be the doorway to big change, it could be a life-defining era, the calm before the storm of a 360, the great hoorah at the end of the romcom movie. 
So even though it doesn't completely feel like it, here's the close to a long-drawn chapter. Thanks for sticking with me thus far, brace yourself for the nonsense that's sure to ensue.

xxoo missusmonroe






fro styling

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This was a pretty exceptional day. For no reason in particular besides from these exceptional shots.


Well, okay I'd have to be lying if I said other great things didn't happen, they were just exuded in these pictorials. It was one of those random, fleeting, warm-ish days here in the DMV and I took great advantage of it, yes I did. See, I'd been plotting on wearing this outfit for a little bit now, since the beginning on Fall when I'd received this dress from Zara. Since my early high school years I just cannot stay away from pairing sweaters/long tops with the accordion of long skirts or the lace of a maxi dress. The two go hand-in-hand in my eyes, automatically. I had difficulty busting it out because around the time I got it, it was beginning to be too chilly to show it off, there were multiple layers encompassing it but honestly, not enough to keep someone warm. Especially with this v-neck, okay?


For me, after getting these shoes at a Beacon's I already knew they would really accent this outfit. The mere essence of it just correlated in my eyes. I didn't really have a warm enough day and I knew I could not really save it for Spring because, it wasn't a rainy day type of thing, this called for sunny, clear skies, slight wind; partly cloudy maybe. But that was really pushing it. Then I was given this mediocre in temperature but lit, the sun was just shining, day and it was pretty obvious it would just have to do.

I hesitated at first because of my fro. I only did this because without the jacket, which is how I'd initially planned on wearing it, it looked a little too ho-bo vibes, not what I was looking for today. (plus for some reason the socks were just off at a lot of angles) It also would make me look like a lollipop in my mind, as I imagined the straight silhouette of the sweater and dress combo and the upward reach of my hair... I wasn't sure if I wanted that. In actuality, I was sure I did not want that. Fro-styling can be so weird sometimes cause I almost feel like you have to look "extra" or overcompensate in order to not look that drab unkempt, and y'all know there's a cool unkempt and that homeless-aspiring-for-yeezy-season unkempt. It's either your hair has to look big and styled somehow to wear "normal clothes" (it has to look purposeful is the term really) or you overcompensate your fit, cue extra, cause of your fro. Which really stems from that "you about to go get your hair done?" history that black women have when they're just wearing their roots, "her hair ain't never done", similarly.

What does having your hair 'done' look like?
xxoo missusmonroe

Thrifted sweater, Zara dress, thrifted shoes, UO socks





as brown as my history


Finally! Now you all know, or should know really, that I have been on the hunt for some real thigh-high boots for quite a period of time. Like, a minute. I am very aware of how long those stripper-me-down, 29 inch heeled velour pussy grazers have existed but yeah, that's not really what I was looking for for everyday wear. Now, backtrack to a time when I did in fact purchase some boots I thought would be my saviors senior year of high school, a whole 4, 5 years ago. For about .5 seconds they honestly, faithfully were. Then I took a step forward and yeah I quickly realized they just would not do.


See I was looking for boots that significantly reached my mid thigh but almost more importantly, stayed up on my leg and wouldn't be slouching down all day, exactly what those old boots did. There was a point where I pinned them to my pants...innovative yes, but very sad for my vintage practically satin pants (I'm a murderer I know). I think y'all get the point that I didn't want heels, just regular old boots that weren't 700 bones but were stylish and I could rock come winter time. Literally, I never think I'm asking for too much but clearly I am. I'd found some contenders but I think the recent development of the tie-back boots is nice in theory but tacky in reality ~since we're being honest. And I personally realized I loved the narrower toe, it adds some class and makes a shoe look more expensive than it really is.


Long story short, Forever finally had these babies in stock. And I have to admit, I was playing. I was lollygagging trying to decide on a color, did I want plain black or did I want that ash taupe, a color I don't have in my shoe selection that could add a lil something to my closet. In actuality I think I was going to order two pairs, honestly I also wanted a hunter green but that also was not an available option so that had to be done with pretty soon. Black was the first color to go out of stock. Alright, cool, cool as long as I wasn't stuck with that poop brown... they have this pop-up sale and the taupe is next. Oh hell no, it's the taupe or nothing. But I couldn't get this boot off of my mind, because y'all the other options I had were disastrous or expensive for no viable reason; I mean if you're gunna cost my leg at least let the material rectify my loss...
So I decided I'd make do with the brown. The boot is completely sold out at this point. Nice going D, just smooth freakin' moves. I get on the waitlist, wait, miss it to it being sold out again, and nearly give up until God sent me an angel in the form of a returned shoe to the physical store and well, here I am. In the position I would've been off jump if I'd just bought the damn brown in the fist place

Boohoo jacket, thrifted sweater, American Apparel skirt, forever21 boots

The story behind this jacket is also another whirlwind but just know that I've been looking for a bomb aviator/Shepard's jacket for a bit. I say this too often for my own good on this blog, but it's really the truth, I look for clothing items that exactly fit my vision for seasons on end. That's why I need to design, cause then I can just make the shit instead of waiting for someone else to do it. In any case, this jacket was also angelic and just better than I'd ever expected. A sorry, no-backorders, unsuccessful google-image search hunt, and magical sale later, I literally found it. Miracles.

As far as putting this dream together, after buying the boots then later sifting through options for the jacket, I realized how much my closet lacked brown in general and the fact that the two items appeared to be an exact match, color wise. I'd literally just received the jacket when I was compelled to wear it...like the next day(I usually like for items to sit) but because of wanting to fully highlight the boot, meaning showing dem legs girl, and the sudden coordination of the weather, it was just a match made. This brown sweater literally just seemed to fall in line and with the mix of browns in it, the appearance was a lazy, coincidental match.

How's that for brown history?

xxoo missusmonroe




an organic affair


It's been mad real as of late, mad real. I'm constantly trying to find balance and this time around is posing a challenge. Is there a such thing as balance?... The thought just came to mind because I'm actually trying to remember a time where I was legitimately balance for a long period of time, was productive, happy, and not 5 years old. Even then there was cheetah-chasing, elephant riding conflict (a little stereotypes for the ignorant).

When I was gifted with catching sight of this beautiful skirt, excitement immediately ensued. When it arrived in my hands I nearly shed a tear. Then I was posed with the challenge of styling it. Silver industrial is not my thing. I don't know if y'all have noticed, but I am a strong 'gold or nada, go home' type of girl, so what I was thinking when I decided to risk it all! and purchase this beauty and nightmare, I don't really know. I don't. But y'all you gotta make it work, alright!?

After actually getting in my styling zone it became really easy, I actually came up with two options but I decided to wear this one first. The harness was something I ran across on eBay I just fell in love with but added to my cart on missguided, I think to get free shipping lol cause that sounds like me. I thought of the AA dress in combination with the skirt if I just simply thought of the skirt as a regular leather skirt then I knew the harness would have to be added because of these really eye-catching, off-centered buckles.

Hand-me down jacket, American Apparel dress, Missguided skirt, Urban Outfitters booties
The shoes were a given, with the tone of the outfit already, I randomly grabbed this jacket and it was a warm-ish day so I knew socks would have to be added. I played off of the cobalt with these trusty navy "OTK"s *cue eye roll*. And honestly, I didn't expect it to look this good together. I shouldn't be surprised because every time I feel that way it turns out to be a knockout. In any case, it really only looked this amazing with the jacket on! Without it things started falling apart; thankful for my spontaneous decisions.

xxoo missusmonroe