The Supreme Pussy Complex

7:07 PM missusmonroe 1 Comments

If you're a woman, you know exactly what I'm saying. If you're a man, you've fallen deep innademwalls so you know this all too well. The Supreme Pussy! A statement. A badge of .. honor? Right? Well I suppose the real question really is just that: is it an esteemed or deplorable state of mind?

This day in age creatures bearing said pussy, trying to be a PC as possible with that statement can you tell, have heavy ass weights on their shoulders! We have to know how to cook, cook well, clean, be ambitious, be well read, successful at work, get our own money, get your money, don't get too much money, be independent, be vulnerable, suck a dick while on a handstand, all while having a jaw-clenching pay-my-bills pussy and knowing what to dew with it. I'm fucking exhausted. The pressure is on.

Since this is a discussion of she's born with it and not Maybe it's Maybelline, it's clear that since inception women have always been pit against each other. We can't even have a God-given, man enslaving organ without it being in competition with another. Why does there always have to be a number one in anything that we do, touch, or hey, are fucking born with? Why does your pussy-worth have to be critically acclaimed by another? Another who more specifically doesn't even know how to swing his bing much less find your damn hole (beloved). And because some peanut gallery folk are surely going to be screaming, but what about men, they're compared against each other too! Yes. For sure, dicks are certainly scrutinized. But what's not is this mans' resume upon entry.

For us, I've observed we judge more on his girth, stroke game, whether or not it'll be too small, and praise him, jump for damn joy, if he has the bare necessities: a blue text bubble, some form of employment, a mode of transportation where his two feet indeed count, grammatical skills..sometimes .. definitely exclusive to "there" and "their" and the rest "we can work through it. Together." But my sisters, a lot of these men have pussy expectations and just as passionately, if not even more, they have "female" (woman vs. female we'll discuss another timeee) expectations. They aren't fucking you unless you're ambitious, doing supremely well for yourself despite your circumstance ~see paragraph two~ or if your pussy comes with a referral. I'm just saying, if you're going to give the spokesman of your worth to someone still reading on a third grade level, you may as well ask an actual eight year old how they feel about you. I'm positive the answer will be far more insightful.
The pressure is fucking on.

If you are reading this with no prior knowledge of me, it may surprise you that I actually do not believe believing your pussy reigns supreme is a bad mentality. It's confidence boosting and at times welcomes the correct nigga energy and synergies. However! That is because I am well enough with myself (a phrase that sounds so ran through these days, I know) that I am aware more goes into me than thinking highly of the heavenly mountain below. For my women whose only response when they are arguing with the general public/if they are defending themselves against a cheating, lying ass nigga is "but your nigga wants my pussy though", this is indeed for you. What are the actual benefits of bearing a supreme pussy?

Sis why do you think your "supreme pussy" will be what keeps your "man"?
     - Because do not be steered wrong, pussy indeed reigns supreme ~for the nth time~.  Always. All ways. No matter how you flip it. But going from the forest to the tree... your pussy? It may have reeled him in, but it will not be what keeps him there forever. As we have nicely went over, it is not the only puss in the pen and it is actually incapable of being the only pussy in this world of millions of feline, that is number one. Statistics.

Sir, is "good pussy" all a woman can offer you until you're "ready" to "settle down" or is that just all you're willing to outwardly voice?

     - Let's be honest! We know men catch feelings from your touch to your insightful conversation, women we actually know we can offer far more than in-between our legs right... So why allow this sort of conversation dominate? Unless we not-so-secretly enjoy it... Bingo. Flip the script and we are still in someway shape or form a satisfied winner. If your power lies here sis, follow it through. But please keep in mind, navigating this way requires mental training that not all women posses ~accept it~ or will ever be made for (accept it)! Men can be crude, seemingly heartless human beings; making you feel like meat in a world of meat markets ~purchase one for a taste, confidently return it all scrutinized and used up, then nonchalantly purchase another. Understanding this, navigating the complexities of this, and knowing how to also detach any feelings that may arise is necessary if you are going to make your pussy your world tour. Your power. If you can't commit, do not pedestal it.

Sisters, can there be an instance where all of our pussies are top notch across the board?
    - In my humble opinion, this is yet another instance illustrating how women would be stronger together than when we're attempting to one up each other ~cheesy hug moment~. We could each in actuality have supreme pussies. A Pussy Coalition gotdammit. But we're too busy exerting our good, good energy into, and our extremely good pussies onto every other being thus, inadvertently wanting those moments to define us. And wanting those moments to trump a preexisting opinion of another woman. How can we let something so coveted define us when we have all the power to define it.

My beautiful sis, if your pussy was in fact number one, but regardless of your sexual interactions with anyone you were the only one in this world who knew it, how would that define you? That's like talking about a make-believe world only you know exists, it only matters if you think it matters. So why should it matter?

xxoo missusmonroe


Brazilian Secrets. A Red Wine Hair series | @missusmonroe

4:54 PM missusmonroe 0 Comments



10:47 PM missusmonroe 0 Comments we so easily give up on things we claim we love the most? And put so much time into what we proudly proclaim "couldn't care less about"?

why do we take pride in giving up.

xxoo missusmonroe


bryant, kobe

8:57 PM missusmonroe 0 Comments

On October 9, an unrecognizable gem was released into the thickets of West Africa, Lagos to be exact, and she's been exuding a special  type of shine ever since.

Captured by Michee

This year was meant for greatness. That I already know. Not only am I speaking it, but I've just had this feeling of "things are reaaally just getting fucking started" ever since relocating. It's wild, back home I don't even think I imagined 23.. As in after graduating I wasn't sitting around imagining my next year.. the furthest I'd sometimes dwell on is just the next day. Hoping and halfheartedly believing the next day would be better than the current. Would be more encouraging than the present. And in those  moments you all know I was writing everything off as dramatics...but hell, being on this side I really see how poisonous life was then, literally less than 6 months ago. The happiness and just simply weight-free life I'm fortunate enough to indulge in right now is a crazy 180 from depression and deeply rooted anxiety. So if through that I was able to accomplish this life, I can only imagine my Kobe.

The shots here were produced on my birthday, not how I expected spending my birthday but I was completely unopposed. It was a great time in fact. This videographer I met at CurlFest reached out to me seeing if I'd be interested in shooting. He was interested in expanding his work and pursuing fashion photography and inquired if I could be a canvas for an afternoon. Now am I denying that?

Pretty wild to think there's an actual category for what I do, particularly because I've been doing it for so long. I'd never imagined to be thrown into something called fashion photography, well blogging wise. I haven't figured out yet if I like it or not lol cause honestly I don't like categories or pooling and generalizing but for this moment it's whatever.

The unity of this outfit, cause I haven't detailed my pairing mental in a lil minute, came pretty organically as usual. I'd been eyeing this denim jumpsuit from Nastygal since June and finally purchased it in September ~don't ask. The green stole my heart as we all know I love me a good emerald to forest baby, and the denim touch licked me up right after. It does (more than) enough on its lonesome so since I'd wanted to do something different with these locs, I pulled it back with a little wisp on the sides. 
Shoes. *gag*
Even though they're usually my favorite necessity, always my most difficult part unless I already have shit mapped out. Which. Of course I didn't. Thus! I reached into my magical, endless box, crate, of foot magic and grabbed some shoes I haven't worn in what feels like ages and it seemed to just come together from there. 

Thank you to Michee for these visuals; when I say I'm in love I cannot be lying. I took my hand at editing as I at times, always, do ~midas touch
How are y'all loving this green? Don't answer that. I already know.

xxoo missusmonroe


goodbye 22

11:59 PM missusmonroe 0 Comments

22 was a whirlwind. 22 was a journey. 22 was teachings and tears and laughter. 22 made me want to end it all and it made me need to risk it all. Last year, I went into this age running away from bearing my emotions and putting them into words. This year I wrote them all down and owned every single one. I felt everything. I didn't allow myself to be small because of what I was feeling. 22 re-taught me nearly every damn thing I learned in 21 years. Most importantly, it left me with a few most memorable lessons.

     1. never give up on you

     2. pain truly doesn't last as long as it feels it will

     3. all of your sides are your good side

     4. you can't break me

     5. fuck them

xxoo missusmonroe


Did Afropunk sellout? 2018 Recap

10:43 PM missusmonroe 1 Comments

Captured by photographer of The Daily Beast, edited by missusmonroe

Whew. What an intro.
Now you all, many of y'all anyway, have 'known' me since prior to me ever stepping feet on AP Brooklyn's grounds but wanting desperately to (actually I don't think anybody but Sade and my sister really ever knew I wanted to), to my first...experience up until right now, my third go-around. I would never call myself an expert but I am very good at observing, good enough to proclaim Afropunk has certainly changed. It had certainly changed prior to my first attendance and up until now it has also grown new heads. Heads so big it just might block me from attending next year
~if you didn't get that, continue below and you hopefully will get understanding~

captured by Brian Winston Fraser, edited by missusmonroe

Let me first delve into my rollercoaster this year. I love Afropunk for the fashion, the collectiveness, the resistance and rebellion, the antics, the love, the lack of judgement. I started attending a few years after they began charging natives, which of course changed the energy of the festival in and of itself, that in which I am positive of. I never felt a yearning to attend because of the music or anything related to punk realness lol blackness, collectives, and the vibe is all I'd wanted to experience. It wasn't until I first attended that I saw the manner in which fashion played. It was a serious ordeal. I always put something together whenever I attend events and I love festival get-ups so my first year I indeed had something that salvaged itself together but I was clueless to the swarm of photographers and industry heads that would be in attendance. I was solely thinking naked yet fest, lol due to the heat and being me. This time around I actually planned my looks and everything in a relatively timely manner. I swear! I know we know my usual procrastination..honestly it's not even procrastination I just get inspiration when I do and you can't rush that shit. You just can't. So I let it happen when it does. The issue with that is always with the fucking mailman. We cannot seem to coordinate my inspiration with snail.. in fact express mail. Something always goes wrong.

Captured by photographer of The Daily News, edited by missusmonroe

Captured by Novakane, edited by missusmonroe

Now how long have I been waiting to whip out some chaps?? For maybe two years now. Last year they were a bitch to find, the usual when it comes to me thinking of an idea and waiting for someone to commercialize it so it can be more accessible. *cue just fully design already, I know I know* This year was a bit easier to find them and no, I did not plan for this damn moo song to come out, it just so happened to coincide and you can only guess how many times I was moo'd at.
I've known I wanted chaps, I knew I wanted my ass to hang ~I squatted for times like this bitch~ and I knew I wanted a crystal thong. What else was supposed to happen was an LV tube top and for day 2... well just a whole different look. The Chanel top was to have a bit more structure with some Chanel lining that didn't come in time alongside with a loin cloth style skirt... none of which happened. Because none of which came in time besides from the skirt material and the Chanel material.

Captured by Novakane, edited by missusmonroe
I didn't want to waste the top so I decided to go ahead with it, the skirt on the other hand I had to run around and find the material from my neighborhood stores, next deciding to pair a crystal thong for a much needed pop as well as some cute consistency with my weekend looks. When I tell you I kept thinking my Sunday look wasn't especially up to par because I knew how I wanted it to look, it brought me to some relative points. Afropunk lost some of its flair. Afropunk is definitely some weird costume contest fully and completely now. The judgement-free zone is definitely lost within the ever-growing crowd.

Captured by Novakane, edited by missusmonroe
I say it's some weird costume contest because..well it is. That was my thought my first year going and even though it was cool to see, it's almost as if you just know people were thinking "which look will get me the most attention?" Especially some male looks.. I'm sorry, I'm tired of seeing the same lazy outfit repetition. The platforms, the halo locs, bleached beards. Okay, we get it. For the women, it's like what's the most over-played thing out right now and how can I incorporate that into my hair? Sunflowers, sunflowers, toss some fruit in, and more sunflowers. It's a big ass contest on who can garner the most attention. And I get it, it's exciting and some may think I played very well into the world as well. *shrug* I do these seemingly off-the-wall looks a lot, somehow incorporating these sort of pieces into a party outfit or a beach look and etc, and I was stressing over some things because of how I love presentation and completion; as someone who styles, if I have an idea in my head I want it to play out exactly as planned. Or else I feel as though I'm competing with my ideas and will always be in a "what if" or "if only" state of mind.

Captured by photographer of The Daily Beast, edited by missusmonroe

The flair this year was lost through multiple facets. Before, AP used to really encourage vendors and have apparent native footprints throughout the weekend. Especially when, if we're being honest, the festival wouldn't be as big if it wasn't for Brooklyn natives, if it wasn't for people of color, if it wasn't for blackness being cool. period. The black people collecting together to display various forms of fashion, cool. The black people dancing and partying to beats, drums, guitars, cool. The black people doing all of this and singing and painting and fighting oppression, racism, bigotry, and the white greedy hand...oops. All of this wrapped into a 'come as you are' fest was fucking cool. It's a real bitch and hassle to be able to vend now. There's this official application, a waitlist, a multiple grand fee.. all for starting last year the acceptance of less vendors and a redesign if you will, of the usual layout. Squeeze as much vendor space close together as you can, more room for bars and roped off food places *cue side-eye on the reasoning for that* 
This year I didn't even see the banners banning racism, homophobia, etc etc. Some of those important staples and seemingly morals and not selling points, lost. Especially when a VIP goer gets kicked out of the VIP lounge for sporting a tee calling Afropunk out on selling out to white consumerism.. oops again I might add. I've seen fucking worse and way more blunt but it seems to be an issue when we're now critiquing the white organizers? Because we do know who is actually running the show now correct?
*throws Hennessy byke every so blackly*

captured by Brian Winston Fraser, edited by missusmonroe

The first year I attended Afropunk I was a bit nervous, more so because I didn't know what to expect. I was helping a nonentity vend and I just knew it was a big event but I didn't know what actually went on? I did a let's be real recap about it here as well, detailing what y'all can't see from the damn pics cause it's real nitty-gritty out there. Yet, I felt so oddly embraced. That affirmed my love for New York many moons ago. Nobody cared, come as you are, you're good. Looking back on my get-up, I even didn't love it at the time because of course outfit pieces didn't come when they should've so I had to run around and make do as usual, but everybody ate that shit up lol just didn't...judge. That's lost. As Afropunk gets more commercial and acquires more mainstream artists to their stages comes more attendees there for the motion of it all but not the spirit. It's losing its authenticity. 

Honestly, that may already be lost.

captured by Brian Winston Fraser, edited by missusmonroe

captured by @queendom_heights (L),  Brian Winston Fraser (R), edited by missusmonroe

As the internet crucified an attendee who was literally the most pleasant person around and was there to live his damn life, I just shook my head cause that warm spirit really is gone. It's not for everyone to have or understand, but those who truly fuck with the intention of the event and the message of it get it and should in actuality be paying it forward. If you volunteered this year you could only get one ticket. As in took time out and helped "progress" their "initiatives" and met the requirements for total points, your cap was one GA ticket for one day of your choice. laughoutloud, what? Actually why, so you'd be somewhat forced to give money to them someway somehow even if you already contributed work? One of the ways of "volunteering" was a monetary donation (money). You are in fact kidding, right? A donation to who and to what exactly?

captured by Brian Winston Fraser, edited by missusmonroe

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed myself and had a great time meeting new spirits who I genuinely fucked with. It's just sad to see a longstanding conscious event go south. And let's not even talk about the fake photographers and "artists" looking for clout for their lack of talent. Let's not start.

What are you all's thoughts? Should the white money hand be allowed to grapple on and continue to try and make a flip on culture? Do you really think there was another side to that question? While y'all meditate on that enjoy some flicks from photographers I actually fuck with.

xxoo missusmonroe

Captured by Novakane (L) Luiz Moreira (R), edited by missusmonroe

small booties matter with Ebonee Davis

Captured by @fl.visuals

captured by Brian Winston Fraser, edited by missusmonroe