The Roast of the Met Gala 2019

3:55 PM missusmonroe 0 Comments

Billy Porter the golden mockingbird, Harry Styles' accomplice gave us a take on  white Jesus like only a white boy with long hair would, and the world just seemed to continue to mock the black opinion with their flaunting, slapping, of Gucci on everything. The Met Gala of 2019 everyone! All night I had to stop myself from completing the "she looks like a peacock" sentence because well.. that was the point I suppose.. clearly on many of occasions. And the biggest disappointment of the night aside from the tennis shoes on the carpet, was the realization that RiMETGALAhanna wasn't even in attendance! Via Instagram of all places. The audacity!

FIRST, let's get the theme out of the way. CAMP: NOTES ON FASHION. A love of the unnatural, of artifice, and exaggeration. NOT in terms of beauty, in terms of stylization. I beg of you to please keep this in mind! We know how much I love themes, I take this shit to heart haha. If you can’t dress to the theme, stay at home! In my most honest of opinions, it’s just not that hard to miss out or duck the cameras: if you looked beautiful but not on theme you will in fact get benched in my book.

Do note this is written in reaction style. Continue.

The Ga of all GaGas gave a "most entertaining" show like we all could’ve blindly guessed she would, but I actually admired a lot of the little details that went into it all. With the mini bows, the Telephone facials, it's almost as if she was giving us a bit of her 2009 catalog that many of us, okay me, so long to have back. But could we have gotten rid of that damn bra? I also was praying, begging for more seamlessness but quite honestly the mayhem fed right into the theme of the night, it wasn't about beauty and perfection.

Serena gave me goddess yellow/lime and hibiscus simultaneously; the color was great I just wish she did something with her hair, a moisturized up-do preferably, but just something. However her makeup?? Without flaw.

There was blood red dress I cannot for the life of me find but it was a lot of great things! I know it means absolutely nothing without showing it but my goodness, the texture of the bodice was almost like reptilian skin, I live!

Why were the men either giving boring 3 piece or Woodstock? It was annoying to be quite frank, but men at these usually get a pass. The above look was one of the more refreshing get-togethers, suit wise but it still wasn't supremely impressive.

Now Regina.. LOL this was not it. Her wig was serving very much so synthetic Yara, if you know you know and we all know, her outfit was giving me incomplete and her confidence in it was very much so I could think of a million other places I could be. And for the love of God what were those Metallica platforms? I just think the color choice..the outfit choice could’ve been much better. 

Hamish, this would've worked if it wasn't giving everything of That's So Raven. And I know everyone knows exactly what denim jacket with this string attachment I'm referring to. I was alive for the drama and fingerwave (yes singular) y'all, I swear I was.

Now. This metallic gold frock was everything I've ever loved, don't mind that she can tap dance her way onto a nearby musical with those feets, but with this bodysuit Celine can tap tap tap anywhere.

Janelle Janelle Janelle... we did not deserve! If not for the fact that it was far too pretty, this would for sure be my best dressed. I know it's hard to imagine because where but I just wish there was a dash more of drama, just a dash!

Kim looked.. not pictured on my fucking blog lol but honestly less than impressive to me; however, I'm assuming after finishing her exams she just didn't have time to properly prepare. I feel as though her Met carpet looks all mirror each other in a way, some dress that shows off her doctor’s work and a pursed lip. That’s all we really get. I later learned she was giving either raindrops or teardrops.. I was still left duly impressed.

Some final thoughts:
All the frills and wings of the night were cute but they were not on theme. Camp isn't beauty based it's stylized based, hence only the inclusion of some notable looks in this brief recap. A costume party with hardly any costumes, I'm so disappointed! The few times you can go above and beyond with little judgement. Yet, there was too much beauty and not even risk which, no matter how many feathers or holes you put in the frock, still leaves it safe. From the Kardashian-Jenners to that one Hadid, too put together, not enough exaggeration. Then you turn to Zendaya and you get too much imagination running, a take on Cinderella and fairytales maybe but the entire ensemble? Taste is still necessary my good people.

Fucking galactica? Camp, not space camp.

Ain't It:

fucking embarrassing.


In my best opinion... Cardi won. She stuck to the theme and she looked damn good in it. From her always regal poses to the blood clot color, I mean she literally dished. Then we get news that this dress was hand embroidered by 35, 35 people! For over 2,000 hours! Give me dedication, give me commitment, and give me drama or I don't want it! And then she stuck to the theme and had the nerve to make it look stunning. Fashion ladies and gentlemen. Janelle was definitely right on her heels, it was just too perfectly placed for me. Who did you absolutely adore from the first Monday in May?

xxoo missusmonroe



9:40 PM missusmonroe 1 Comments

Here's the thing about thinking you can't do something: it'll be true as long as you believe it to be. You hold all the cards.

Truth be told, I almost did not wear this outfit. I know it's hard to believe, especially what with me being myself and everyone believing I can just do anything and wear whatever. Which I really can; however, this time around I was just saying to myself... this might be a little much! This is where I'd be crying of hysterical laughter cause it absolutely was but it was very right at the same time.

See now, you don't have to be a long time follower to know and understand I love festival season. As in, festival fashion is me and I am it. We go together, we mesh, we get it. Remember at Dreamville when I ran into my Carolina hotties? The approach was solely off of the fact we all understood what it was! And the organic vibes came soon thereafter. So being a vet in the fest but also in puting outfits together, you all know I never force anything. I'm not the one to say oh I'm going to a festival and try to personify this person I think would belong there or just try to buy the most outlandish pieces and get the most "photographed" look. Nah. So I didn't want this look to be doing the most in all of my opinions, and I have a lot of them. I was thinking it might be too cool out and it just might not be the venue for it.

But as I packed only one fit for the day I truly just said fuck it and went with the only thing I trust the most in this world. Out came magic.
These days it's hard to describe a thought process in piecing these looks. I knew what type of pants I wanted and I searched for them, lol I do this often. Until y'all have my designs in your hands, this is what I will continue to do too. I just open a new tab and input exactly what I'm envisioning or thinking of and go from there. I didn't necessarily think denim but when I saw them at DK I literally just knew they would be the ones. At first I wanted a white peasant-like top, but knowing my hair would be this purple-like tint I decided a bright top would be best. I found the clogs on PLT and immediately knew I was buying them.. even though I didn't know where the hell I'd be wearing them to. When I tell you all I haven't worn anything above 3 inches in a very long time... I did not know where I would be wearing them alright. But lo and behold, I just had the brightest of ideas to make them a part of a different festival look than I usually go for (I like to stay as close to the ground as possible, you all have heard this countless of times) but Megan Thee Stalli has been really having me on my tall glass of chocolate Almond Breeze shit. I've always adored being tall but she adds a different type of confidence to it, it makes me inclined to just really play with height again.

I didn't actually want a neon top at all and definitely not a lime, hate that trend tooo be honest, but it was actually the only style I found that was similar to the white I'd originally been gagging and I just didn't feel like searching any deeper because we know how my luck is with THE US POST OFFICE. I knew a semi-tight curl with a light bang would be perfect, I wanted to play off the 1800s type of puffy sleeves, corset vibes with the added volume on the hair giving it a modern pull. And that's all there was to it. It's never that serious, it just works.

The love and commentary of this one was overflowing, thank you to everyone negative or positive. And to the bitch ass at the fest that said they didn't want to catch my eczema as I needed to get back to the front of the security line, your ignorance is showing dumbass. Catch eczema...that I don't have?? Lord. If I saw you in the street I don't even know if you'd be worth the bottom of my shoe as I stomp your face out. In any case..much love! Haaaha!

xxoo missusmonroe