Onto new adventures

This post was supposed to be forever ago but it honestly seems as though I'm always onto newer and better things, so it is still fitting nonetheless. As school is pulling into its third, maybe fourth week, who has time to count really, I'm more stressed than ever, but also more aware of my surroundings. This picture above was taken on a day I'd reached a pretty significant milestone in my life but I feel as though recently I've been getting epiphanies and have faced many realizations. As I was rounding up my homework tonight ~morning~, fresh coffee just hitting my fingertips, I felt the sudden inspiration to get to this post. It might be because I'm at this somewhat awkward stage of letting go and embracing simultaneously, or I'm suddenly feeling a strong kick to succeed tonight... I'm not even sure if any of this is making sense. I do know I've always believed in myself but suddenly tonight I really believe in me. My goals and aspirations can't be stopped. I've asked God for signs before, just to show me what he wants me to do and not necessarily what I want. I know everything happening in my life right now, all the people I'm meeting, they aren't coincidences. I don't believe in a coincidence. Now I'm seeing what I asked for is nearly haunting me.

I didn't know what I wanted to say as I pulled up our blog but I think my fingers and God took over quite nicely. Thanks to everyone who decided to hop along and follow my journey, I know you guys have been thoroughly entertained. For all my newbies, welcome to chaos! Chaos in the coolest of ways. Oh, I really don't know what I did to have my pictures come out as so but it's slightly cool..Lol I'll have to find a way to reverse it.

xxoo missusmonroe

do you ever look at pictures and feel nostalgia over the feeling you were having at that exact moment? this is one of those times.

Fall inspiration

I'm not sure about you all, but I am completely itching for a taste of the fall to start. As the season slowly peeks out, I am teased with the sudden and ubiquitous increase of pumpkin-spice related things-- from coffee, to salsa to bread, it doesn't stop. I am ready for new hair fall sweaters, leather boots and scarves.


Feeding your soul

I wrote a really long blog post about self care and knowing oneself but blogger deleted it. I'll type when I have the full energy later. I went biking to relief some stress and anxiety!

purp swag

I love experimenting, as you can probably tell, and trying new things. This is new...and not so new at the same time. If you've been a long time reader, you know back in high school ~feels like eternity ago~ I had a deep purple then violet ombre. So being well aware of how it would look, I randomly thought of how I wanted some real box braids, I'm talking Poetic Justice or nothing, and I wanted them waist length. This was the result. For the first time, I actually went to an expert to do my hair and I paid her myself. Milestones people, milestones. She lives just by the metro, super sweet, and super inexpensive for how long I wanted them and how dense my hair is. Not to mention her hands are lightening fast. 
(If you'd like her information, comment below!)

When it was all said and done, I was shocked at the color honestly. Looking at it from say my cheekbones down it looked rad, but at the roots it was so shocking at first. But I've grown to fall in love with it, it might be a go-to braiding color in all honesty. What do y'all think?!

xxoo missusmonroe

Always expect the unexpected

H&M dress, Topshop socks, forever21 mules

People of this world behave very funny when things are no longer going as they planned. It's almost hilarious but I'm being quite sarcastic in terms of the hilarity of people with multiple faces. Even when you wish to show compassion, it is as if they refuse to let you be understanding. It is for that reason exactly that people only protect themselves and their own, which is not the answer as well. I wish everyone was upfront and did not insist on having ulterior motives.

xxoo missusmonroe

a broke, Black Cher Horowitz

Thrifted blazer and shorts (separates), Forever21 crop, Zara sandals

Ever since I was a little kid, I've always loved Clueless. I'd always wanted to have the essence of Cher ~ and no this is not white supremacy or internalized racism, chill out ~ Aside from what I would see as ditziness, which without fail would be reversed by the end of the episode to show she really was onto something, I admired her compassion and desire, need really, to help others. Even when they begged her not to. I did not want to be like Cher but I really enjoyed her character. I especially loved her style and when I was going blond I knew the exact cut I wanted to get. Sometimes random outfit ideas come to mind and I immediately know where the inspiration came from. This was definitely one of those times. I mean, what's more Cher Horowitz than matching plaid (in this case hounds tooth)?

xxoo missusmonroe

shanghai'n it

Adidas Superstar 80s City Series - Shanghai

It's no secret Pharrell is a creative genius. To be honest, he takes the most obvious ideas and brings them to life. How obvious was recreating Adidas Originals but in every color? So obvious you would not actually think to do it or you may believe someone's already hit that jackpot. Now someone has. So I'm no sneaker fanatic, I don't truly know how releases work but I do know some are exclusive and some are not. When I became aware of the release, I fell in love with the pastels but I knew I'd have to get my favorite color. My mistake was probably how nonchalant I was about everything. It was as if I was taking a Sunday stroll on the beach, not a care in the world "oh, I'll get it later", "oh, I'll just get it from this site" until Tribe Yellow was literally sold out every where. And look, I enjoy the cheap treasures of this world, but I will not be fooled into buying an extreme fake that'll probably end up only having two stripes. I also utterly refuse to pay three times the price which led me to The City Series collection. At first glance, I hated it. The suede was not me and it also seemed utterly impractical. Suede can't last through rain or snow but it's too hot for summer... so I was stuck between a rock and a potentially empty wallet. Nobody's going to cheat me out of my money, therefore I researched the shoe, saw some real-life shots of it and decided what the hell, I'll give them a shot.

Let me tell you, I absolutely love them. First of all, at first glance you can't even tell they're suede, which is fantastic because I adored the matte look of the previous pack. Secondly, the pigmentation is incredible. They are so saturated it's actually almost scary. They look so good! There was only a men's 8 available, which was about half a size too big for me ~socks considered~ but thankfully I don't look like Lacienega Boulevardez so all is right in the world. I do still want the Shift Olive and possibly the Sky Blue but my moral conscious is telling me spending $170 on shoes that sold for 90 originally is only cheating myself... We shall see.

xxoo missusmonroe

2014 Forest Hills Drive

As an enormous fan of Jermaine Cole, AKA bae, going to his concert was a given. Getting there was a story in itself but I don't even have to speak on it because the concert experience overshadowed every minute spent in traffic and every dollah bill electronically snatched from my hands. There aren't much words. He's a great entertainer but ultimately a human being using his influence in a much better light than I can say about half of the superstars out here. Not perfect but well worth it.

xxoo missusmonroe


So Little Thai, So much to Do

Over this past summer, I had the opportunity to teach English in rural Thailand. There are far too many pictures, so many thoughts and too many words to have this as an installment for one post. I hope over the remaining months, I will be able to share more beautiful moments that have occurred over these past two months.

I kept up a more active teaching/personal blog during my time: kickingitinphichit.blogspot.com

Feenin' - Kehlani's Freestyle

Thrifted top, Missguided pants, goJane sandals

Have you ever been in a relationship, whether it be a lover or your best friend, where it's as if you're moving as a unit, seamless and wonderful. Then suddenly it's as if they took a wild turn, a complete 180, suddenly they want something else and it is as though what you had to offer will no longer suffice. In terms of males, I don't understand how something that can begin so pure and honest can end so tainted, scrambled, and distasteful. Why is it that males can just wake up one day, saying "I don't want this anymore, in fact whatever you thought this was, well it was all in your head anyway"? This is why women are viewed as batshit crazy, because seeds are planted in our heads but selfish people you've formed bonds with one day decide you are no longer worthy of being their best friend. As if you got to thinking all of it, the times you all shared, the laughs, the confidence, the secrets, the tears, as if that world they painted with the both of you in it was all your doing. As if you only saw what you wanted to see and painted what you wanted reality to be.

Well. It's either platonic or nothing else. It's time to take the paintbrush back, paint things my way.

xxoo missusmonroe

3 Stripes: For the Love of Chanel

Guess who finally found her Chanel chain purse?! This happy camper. I've been wanting to mix my separate Adidas pieces for a while now, the thought struck me after winter, and was waiting for just the right cool day! This day wasn't it but I recently got this men's hat from Forever21 and merged them together ~ y'know how my brain works. I've also wanted to experiment with editorial style editing for a while now, I just think the visual perspective is completely eye-catching and all around appealing. I've shied away from it because of my fear of its time consumption - I was right by the way but it was totally worth it. More practice is sure to help!

xxoo missusmonroe

SOAL Speaks: Queen Sandra, I'm sorry

You know when your emotions are so strong, you can't even pinpoint what they are? When you're so enraged your body's only reactions are bone-numbing tremors or hot, angry, streaming tears, eventually reduced to quivering sobs? I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want everyone to hear how much sorrow I'm feeling, but most importantly I want for everyone to remember the name of this woman who had her entire life ahead of her. Before I get into yet another injustice, I want to address my black people:

I am disgusted. I've been following this story for a little bit now, as soon as I'd caught sight of it, I knew it was important and that it was my responsibility to know all the details and how to DO something. Recently, I am just seeing many people begin to discuss the tragedy and as grateful as I am that it wasn't ignored completely, why did it take so long to catch your attention? Because everybody else on your TL was suddenly talking about it? To keep up with your 'socially aware' camouflage? What exactly was occupying your time, Meek's album, Future's release or the Meek beef with Drake? Or would the correct answer be D, all of the above? DO SOMETHING about a world that won't rest until we are either extinct or too vacuous to distinguish them from actual shit, but before anything WAKE THEM UP. Educate yourself on these issues so you actually sound like you have some intelligence when you speak on it. During the Civil Rights era blacks fought relentlessly: they got up, marched, went as far as moving to worse areas to be apart of the CHANGE. They died for their beliefs. All of that resilience got them and subsequently us somewhere. Some white people are laughing at us, they're saying the police is in the right; realize anything that occurs and does not affect them, they will always find a way to defend it. The cop pulled her from the car but yet he was only doing his job, if she had only complied.. and with all of our abundant precedents you truly believe she would have walked away? NO forget all of that utter and complete nonsense. There is always something we did wrong. There is never justice for us. Justice for white people is seen as justice for everyone.

#Sayhername: I just know Sandra Bland did not commit suicide. She might have deserved a ticket for failing to signal even though the police care purposely made a U-turn then came barreling down the street towards her, but because she did not feel as though she deserved a ticket does not mean the subsequent events were justified, lawful, and freaking humane. I cannot sit here and watch these killing sprees, then hashtag Black Lives Matter! on IG or retweet an article post, sit back and be satisfied with all of my efforts and hard work, and then go back to slaving over the brainwashing media we are being fed. Another girl was found in her jail cell "hung" with bedsheets after being booked for stealing a cell phone. #Sayhername: Kindra Darnell. This is what I call mass murder. What I have to say is they killed this woman. They took "mug shots" of a woman who was deceased. They carelessly threw her to the ground. This is deeply rooted, don't tell me racism died out. It has taken on different forms and by taking no action, we are accepting of it.

I refuse to sit and wait. I want to know what really happened. Who changed the paper work? Who gave them the right to empower themselves this way, by taking away someone else's? Click here if you want real answers, if you're tired of sitting around waiting for justice. Rest in Power, as they're saying, to a lost but never forgotten BLACK queen who deserved not a damn thing she was dealt.

xxoo missusmonroe

How can you tell me?

Ankara co-ord designed by me

As I seem to continue to hear crazy and crazier news almost daily now, I've been brought back to a conversation my mother and I had many moons ago. Well, it wasn't really too much of a conversation as much as it was a demand. There was a time where I was constantly upset and generally sad, some of you faithful readers may know of it because honestly it wasn't too long ago. My mom would ask me why I'm not smiling as much as I used to and I'd respond "why should I be smiling? Why should I smile when I have nothing to be smiling about?

I just specifically remember her telling me to be happy. How can one just be happy, I'd think incredulously. You either were happy or not, no? Muddled up in more commands was her saying no, there is a choice. It has recently become clearer what she meant. Yes, happiness can come upon you but you also can choose. It may be hard to imagine from post after post and the stories I tell but there was a time where I wouldn't be very sad at all. I naturally always have a smile on my face and I never really had anything I thought was worth wasting that much energy worrying about and being upset over. Things changed very quickly, clearly, but as I attempt to ease back into the mindset of my earlier years, I've come to realize a lot. I've never enjoyed moping, I actually hate complaining, I like trying to fix things on my own, I naturally don't dwell on anything even if it made me furious two minutes ago, I love being happy and receiving love, but most importantly there's always a choice.

Choose happiness.

xxoo missusmonroe


H&M top (from Sade!), Missguided pants, can't remember where I got my shoes but they're from the UK

And no I don't mean a recent Drake song, I mean the real shit. Y'all know I've been going through some meaningful lows and trying to keep my head up, but it seemed as though every time I had enough room to breathe another current would swoop me back down... I know life is filled with disappointments I'm just really tired of them. A close friend told me today of a verse she read discussing how this is all apart of the perfect plan God has for me. A little unimaginable that all the hardships I'm withstanding is apart of something perfect. Not just anything really, my life. I know everything happens for a certain reason, nothing just randomly occurs even though it seems that way. While it's happening though, what a hard concept that is to grasp. All you can think about are the negatives, the disappointments, the lows, and especially the woes. I'm opening my eyes to the otherwise. I've always been really good at moving on and here is where I use it to fuel me. I'm already on to new adventures, I should celebrate my achievements, no matter how minuscule they may seem.

In other news, I'm doing a lot more things that are making me happy. Genuinely. I'm also filming more and finding new outlets of expression. Reflecting. Loving. A change is way overdue. 

"Take me deeper than my feet could wander."

xxoo missusmonroe

Work You Hard

Thrifted everything, ALDO necklace

It's always been instilled in me that hard work is the only way to succeed, coupled with intellect and you're set. What I've come to realize is how untrue that is. You can work yourself to the grave and get nothing that you supposedly deserved; you can be the laziest, unmotivated person in the world and get whatever your heart desires. The world is not fair, it's all about opportunity... I would always question people who did not put forth any effort, why do you think you deserve it all then? What makes you think you're just so much better than others who work themselves into the ground, jumping through hoops for what they want? I've never gotten an answer so I suppose I'll just remain curious. 

Sometimes I wish I could just take all the knowledge I now know and start my life all over again. The other day a good friend said I look really happy in these pictures.. I know I should be but my reality is almost the stark opposite. Trying to find the good in an overwhelming amount of bad is tiring and feels really lonely. I know I'm not doing the greatest job of not worrying about what lies ahead of me but I cannot lie about how I feel.. Apprehensive about a future full of mistakes. Here's the verse that's gotten me through so far, maybe you'll do a better job of gripping to it.

xxoo missusmonroe