Lemonade at NYFW

Image captured and edited by Shakira Hunt of http://www.shakirahunt.com/

What feels like a lifetime ago, I wrote a piece called "Tears for NYFW" dramatically produced to reflect my dramatic ass feelings of missed opportunities. Re-reading that post makes me smile and shake my head in laughter because I had no idea how I wanted to get to New York Fashion Week, how to get into any show at all however I was beating myself up about not being at what I'd always seen as my mecca. You know, you see the street-style photos and the front-row shots. In my head that was just a "you made it" aspiration and I was so crazy yet so fueled and determined to reach it with little to no direction and absolutely no idea of where to even begin. I was just like, I'll just show up and somehow it'll get it.

Well I was kinda right. Looking back, I was so right about a lot of things and how I just knew numerous things were achievable for me. It's my second season of Fashion Week, honestly I barely count the Fall cause I dub that as me just being a well-dressed observer on some real shit, and a bitch was over here front and center, name practically on seats and shit. I honestly can't believe what was unfathomable five years ago fell on my lap with little to no effort in the days of today. The days of today where so many things are awry or going left and are so complicated and difficult.


Life is weird, you can feel so blessed and grateful for your life at the exact moment you feel like running away from the stress, mistakes, and anxiety all coming at you at once; the things you can't control will have you amazed at your luck and how the universe is working in your favor in one moment and reaching for a noose in the next. I've been at both extremes. But while you're "down", remember that those moments are the exact ones that will get you to those successful days. The motivation you have when you feel like you have nothing or you may not be much is the groundwork for everything great coming. But it will never feel like it. You have to remind yourself that every rainy day waters the flowers of tomorrow. You have to, for the sake of you.


These images are the beauty of a photographer I met in a rush to get into Spring Studios. I hate when I'm frazzled and rushing because it takes away my ability to properly rationalize. Thank God the shots came out as beautiful as they did cause my mind was not on it at all, then afterward when all was still I was all Damn I should've been present and focused my attention. Well thank you self for not doing too much, because then we get images like these! 
I had no idea what I was even going to wear, this season was so budget-friendly because when I tell you I reached back into my old techniques of piecing outfits together... baybeee I needed that. I've been too "oh I'll just order something" instead of reworking what I have like back in the good 'ol days. I really got a taste of that again and look at the results. I did not realize how far removed I was from some of my old mental but boy did it smack me in the face. This blazer was a one-off purchase for my birthday that I honestly thought I'd never make use of again cause I didn't even love how it turned out then and quite honestly I just didn't love it. But I love shapes and wanted to remind the world of what bold ass structures and rigid corners can do in terms of a statement. Blazers, shapes, black and white...all forever style staples and in no way can they truly be done wrong. The cowboy boots came naturally and the hair? Well, how could I not do my favorite look period ~slick back~ but with braids? It all came together as if it were meant to be...

xxoo missusmonroe


Backstage at Pier59 Studios




Bibhu Mohapatra F/W '19



Anna Sui F/W '19




Over-packed & Underpaid: My Bali Survival Guide


Your opinions aren't worth as much until you've ventured outside of your carefully constructed bubble.
phew..Where to begin? 



Honestly I feel as though the beginnings could take up this blog post completely and indefinitely. There's a lot I could say but I've been struggling with not knowing how to say it in the way it deserves to be said. And so, in my usual fashion, when I don't know how to say something I don't say it. I don't say anything at all and then time escapes and it feels as though the "right moment" has passed. I guess I could begin with the conception: I've always wanted to make it out to Bali. It is simply one of those places you dreamily say One day I'll be there and just leave it at that, kind of hoping it'll find its way to you. Well I sort of believe it found me somehow. Sometime in December 2018 I said I was going to Bali next year, I even wanted to try and make it the first week of the New Year but when I actually looked up flights ~for some reason I thought going to Bali would be a very humble price~ and when I saw that New Year price... oh baby I didn't even think the trip would be feasible any time soon periot. In 2018 I just one day said I wanted to go to China. I made no movements to go make that venture occur okay haha, but give yourself a break sometimes! I made my intentions clear and I added it to one of the places I wanted to figure out. It's around New Years now and Bali is still on my mind. I was going through work oddities and knew there was a potential for my life to get crazy again by the end of the following month so if I wanted to make a move it was literally now or never, I wouldn't know until later just how right I was. I booked my flight about 11 days prior to the flight. Thank God I used my wits and finessed shit like how I explained here but it still nearly left my account in the 0, and left me with grave anxiety of what the hell am I going to be doing literally across the world, all by myself. Because yay now I was going, but bitch now I was going.

I was hit with turmoil literally the day before my flight. As if my anxiety wasn't enough. Up until that point I had loosely planned an itinerary of things but I hadn't booked where I was going to stay when I first arrived in Bali, I wasn't sure where I was going to stay in Guangzhou, I had not finished (started) packing, and life was moving infinitely fast and slow. With the events of that day, I honestly wanted to stay at home and figure shit out. I'm so glad I have common sense to realize that even if I did, the flight would still board and the trip would still happen without me. So why not just go, I literally had nothing holding me back, everything had already been made still for me. On January 18 as I was on my duly trusted Chinese airlines flight, sobbing over this superb foreign movie, writing this in my newly named travel journal,
"I need this trip to be more than I could have ever imagined."

On January 19th I wrote "Fuck the Chinese."


As I was minutes away from my gate to Bali in the Guangzhou airport I realized my phone was missing. I never did find it and I have more than enough reason to believe airport security has absolutely pawned it off by now. I was in bitter anger and legitimate confusion because was I really about to board this flight with no communication with my family or close friends, no modem which held my hotel reservation not to even mention the actual address, remember all the research I stayed up doing the day and night prior? All gone. But what the fuck was I to do? I boarded.



The first day was rocky.
I was frustrated from my losses and also my want for documenting things, but not just for social media or anything like that but for myself. I didn't want my memories to be lost or just not having a way to show for them. I sincerely didn't want it to damper my mood or have an impact at all.. maybe if I'd been on many solo trips like this, it wouldn't have affected me and I would've taken the opportunity to "check out" of life and socials, etc. But what I didn't like was I almost didn't have the option to.


My mind was able to stray as I quickly got lost in Bali. I got lost in the lush greens and humorous people, but even more so I got lost in the familiarity of it all. Bali reminded me of so many places that I had been before wrapped in one: traces of the Italian countryside, Jamaica's busy street markets of Kingston, and more presently the roads, the camaraderie, the feel of Lagos. How could I not forget my woes?

If you're not journaling...
you're in actuality traveling wrong, but you'd definitely be doing Bali an injustice. Imagine, thinking back on your adventures and not being able to remember every detail? All you'll have are pictures, which, don't get me wrong they're essential, but they just don't do it. And in my case, what a story to remember! There's something nostalgic and .. just right about writing it down, pen, paper, no phones. Allow yourself to first summarize your day thus far, then just free write and you'll be shocked at what your subconscious has been holding on to.

Rainy Season saved me
As you all know, I traveled during the rainy or wet season, see this post to understand what that means a little bit more if you're lost, and I know many people fear this because the weather is unpredictable but I truly survived Bali because of it. Indonesia is hot. Hot like coals hot...and I can only imagine how hot it is when it's at its peak temperatures. Rain at night cooled my days, it gave me reason to curl up in bed and just think about any and everything, it didn't bring out as many mosquitoes as many blogs exaggerate, and most importantly it cheapened my flight. You have to plan accordingly if you're going to travel in this time (which spans November-February) I made sure to search rainy day activities, such as jewelry making or cooking classes, things I'd still love to experience rain or shine but would be a good filler if it decided to pour. I didn't even have to end up doing any of the above because it just wasn't necessary. Be weary when reading these popular travel blogs, they exaggerate because it makes for a good story.

Tackling my anxieties and fears
I walked into that airport the morning of my flight crippled with anxiety. The night before I was shaking with so many emotions and so, so much fear of the unknown. So much fear in actuality of what life was going to be when I got back and so much anxiety towards this trip I thought I needed, jumped right into, then was causing me exactly what I needed to get away from. I am a strong believer of God putting us in places and situations for us to learn. Whatever it takes, no matter how hard the lesson is. God kicked my ass. Like.. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit literally jumped me. I swung on a wooden swing hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air knowing damn well I'm afraid of heights, I woke up at 3 AM to hike an active volcano in the dark just to catch the sunrise at its peak and cook breakfast off the natural steam knowing hiking for the very first time and overcoming my weak ass knees (go big or go the fuck home). I ate weird and random foods, I danced with strangers, I prayed until my eyes hurt, I laughed until I cried and I cried until I laughed. I let the natural movements and currents of the Earth control my gravity, I let it decide. I didn't fear for my safety until I got to Kuta. Kuta is where I felt..alone, like I actually did not travel with anyone and I'm here with hundreds of tourists but it's hella hollow alone. Going to heavy tourist destinations is smart and great because the communities are usually very welcoming and very homey. Every once in a while though you'll realize you're not home though, I suggest precautions in your space: doors always locked, blinds closed at night, valuables always packed away every time you leave your room and etc. Don't be too flashy, if it's not approved by the community (taxi services that aren't popular, aggressive bargaining, even things like PDA or exposing your nipples/bare ass) don't do it just because you'd do it at home. My safety was something that did not worry me, but I did always keep in mind of my surroundings, I asked questions to police officers or women and not just random men, I kept my attitude at bay and was never too friendly, and I minded my business.

My Bali Reason
Some people choose Bali and Ubud because they love Julia Roberts, some are a two hour flight away, seriously what the hell, and are on their yearly vacation. Some want to invade all of the sacred grounds with their cameras, opinions, and loud ass energies. I traveled to Bali to escape my current and to capture my emotions. In a quieter state of mind. I was on a journey to find peace, I've been on that journey ever since my first trip to Jamaica. I'm not searching for peace of mind, entirely just peace in my soul. Peace in my body, my muscles, ideas, words... peace in me. A cleansing and spiritual journey. I'm looking for what makes sense to me and my being and every once in a while I need to change my surroundings in order to ask different questions. It's important to know why you're traveling and what you want from the experience. Life is short. What do you want from it?

Eat, Pray, Cry
"It appears I may be the sole soul, soul-searching." - me

Do not get me wrong. There were many places I did not enjoy to their extent throughout my excursion because the place was so tourist heavy. Yes, like me!, and trust me dude I do not mean to sound tourist holier-than-thou but I can absolutely assure you I'm much better company (I'm gunna throw in a giggle here lol even though I'm being pretty serious). Then there were places like.. okay I'm just going to say it China, that I also didn't enjoy because of their actual day-to-day lifestyle and the general feeling of being there.

It may sound like I'm exaggerating here, but remembering the sweat and pain climbing up that mountain, my back pains kicking in and wanting to turn around and drive back to my hotel... Literally feeling the pain pushing through, slipping on the slippery ass rocks as light rain cooled my face the closer we were to the top.. the feeling of my breath literally snatched from me as we reached the top and overlooking all of Bali below just seconds before the dark curtains rose and daybreak began, being that close to life and death? Atop of a volcano, Earths' literal ability to destroy and construct anew on a brand new slate? It was worth it. And those are the exact words I'd use to paint the story of my solo travel.

xxoo missusmonroe

How To Travel: broke, black, & solo


Hello hello friends, special lil haaay to all the new readers/subscribers out there, be prepared to be here for a good time and a long time. Now! As I'm writing this I'm wrapping up my first true and through solo trip. I've been to Europe by myself and Nigeria as well, but this is the first time I traveled completely solo: no family or friends at my destination and as it turned out not too much contact with family and the world outside of my trip in general really.. It was a whirlwind of emotions, amazing memories, and monumental lessons. Here's a snapshot on how it's absolutely possible to survive traveling solo while being broke and a person of color ~specifically black and a woman. A lot of whammies here. I'm going to try and make this as concise as possible but there's a great amount of information, tips, and tricks below. Make sure to take your time and leave a comment or drop a DM with any questions. Let's get into it.


The end all, be all, first thing you must consider when escaping to a new world is not only choosing your coveted destination, which I hope you already have in mind, but also getting to that destination. If you're into the whole resort-stay-on-a-secluded-hotel-beach-area-and-not-be-among-the-local-people-and-culture then this guide is not for you at all. So for those who love to experience your destination fully, our number one focus would be
   #1. The Cheap Flight

Breaking this up into two smaller sections here: 
         When you travel matters 
The majority of us have seen either travel bloggers or statisticians discussing travel tricks mention the term flexible dates and how much they matter. This is the truth but it's a little more than just that. Flexible dates mean you aren't completely gung-ho on traveling on the third Sunday of the eleventh month in 2021. It means you're open and malleable to different traveling dates that may be presented. To me, it goes deeper. 
Does your destination have an "off season" or what may have you and how big of an impact would this have on your trip/the list of things you wanted to do (take pictures doing) that you surely saw some popular people on insta doing?
For tropical destinations this usually means the wet or rainy season. Some destinations are torrential downpours during this time and it makes absolutely no sense to travel and do what you could've done at home for free: sit in the house. For other destinations ... it's the hidden gem many travelers won't tell you (YES I SPILLED THE TEA DAMMIT but look, good karma is great karma) This time period could mean a heap of rain at night while you're alseep, some downpour in the morning depending on the weather's mood, it also means far less tourists because of their fear of the possibility of a ruined trip, cooler cooler cooler days compared to dry season, a dramatic decrease in hotel/hostel/villa prices, and the most important part (eep!): plane tickets for a whopping 50-75% less. Yes this is real this is not a drill, but also yes this obviously comes at a price. 
You're taking a bit of a risk, a risk that can be managed with weather.com and correct planning of your day, along with research on rainy day activities/tours in the case it pours later in your day and when your destinations' rainy seasons even is. However a risk is a risk, it can be mitigated and managed during this time but not erased. At the same time, hey what's a $500 flight to a beautiful island where you may have to stay inside for a few days compared to spending a solid $1500 minimum? (that's just the flight) Nothing if you don't plan on being on the beach every single day.

         The Bang for your Buck
If you're traveling to the East, whether that be Europe, Asia, Australia and even some parts of Africa, nine times out of ten you'll have many flight options with the possibility of many layovers. Usually the longer the entire flight is, including layovers, comes with a significant difference in the price and if you're like me who wanted to ~let's just throw something out there~ go to Singapore in the future but this specific trip was to Bali, Indonesia (pictured above) then sweetheart, why not just..go to both?
Unless, for the purpose of this example, your Singapore trip was to be a whole 7 day excursion, if you've wanted to go to multiple countries within the same region, to me it only makes sense to combine them and you can do this ever so effortlessly through layovers. There are actually a plethora of "travel agent" websites out there that allow you to pick each leg of your trip or specify you'll be leaving from JFK to Singapore on the 1st, on the 3rd you want to leave from Singapore to Bali and on your return you want to leave from Bali to Beijing, and from Beijing to Shanghai, then to JFK and so on. Then they bundle up your flights and present to you options if they already exist, or they essentially create a flight itinerary for you. The latter is likely pricier as a heads up. However if you're up for it, this gives you the luxury of day-trips to your smaller destinations (maybe a taste test to less "travelnoire" locations before making a costly trip) while also giving you a hot-n-ready price. PLUS, many of these airlines have lounges and most importantly free transit hotels that will accommodate you for transits/layovers ranging from 8-96 hours. Be weary not all airlines do this and for many it's more so a privilege, so ensure there are no additional outgoing flights after yours and you'll be good. (They likely won't allow you to stay if in their eyes, you could have been on another flight out to your destination in 3 hours but chose the option of the following evening. Basically they don't actually want to feel used. Blah blah)

The first step to solo travel? Just do it. Close your eyes, okay not completely, click Confirm Registration and know the best is yet to come. Pocket the anxiety of being on your own for another time. Save money from each pay-check and stop supplying yourself with an excuse. Travel is an expense that's hard to regret and impossible to forget.

   #2. The Opportunity Cost of living
A big question I have for my future travelers is, what are you willing to get less of to be given the experience that you are seeking? Many people I see and know want these big resorts or 4-5 star villas, all-inclusive this, spa included that. Which is cute, it really is but I'm sorry did you book a flight to the hotel or to the country of choice? Did you want to leave the spa or not because realistically you could have simply traveled locally to the West Coast if you wanted a beach-front and a spa-cay (unless of course you just really wanted to create a new Insta "Mexico" highlight and change the location on your pics..). If your true intention to travel was to well, leave what you know and venture into what you don't, then spending the big bucks on accommodation doesn't truly make sense because you'll be out of it the majority of the time. For me, that's what I'm willing to have less of. I don't mind a no-frill, clean and simple hotel as long as I am getting the experience I was seeking when I am out of it. This pockets some change for you to then spend on activities and experiences of your destination. It's actually far more than change because hotel costs can shoot up, but you'd be so shocked that you can actually find amazing, one-of-a-kind gems for something like $25 a night and less (Yes, infinity pool included).
Don't be afraid to do things you would never do at home. I conquered multiple fears, not entirely on purpose, and participated in tours I would have wholeheartedly passed on here in New York, because I wanted the experience and I knew that it was almost once in a lifetime. Take the risk!
         Are you really a breakfast person anyway?
If you have the chance to have a hotel with breakfast included, check out the feedback on the food and if it's a green-light choose the breakfast. This gives you the chance to load up on a heavy morning start, thus only needing a light lunch and a phenomenal dinner you won't feel guilty about spending on. I am absolutely one of those people who feel bad about extravagant meal prices because baby, in a blink of an eye and I do mean a blink, it'll be gone and quickly forgotten. So, if breakfast is one of those things you are willing to have less of to keep a few more bucks to spend on a flourishing lunch and packed dinner, go for it. When I first arrived in Ubud, the hotel I was in was a phenomenal service, budget "villa" which provided coffee and tea in the rooms, along with the option of breakfast if I wanted to purchase in their restaurant area. (I absolutely believe coffee and a kettle should be apart of the essentials in any hotel room no matter the price, but alas.) I'm used to having no breakfast or coffee as a form of breakfast, so this option was great for me and allowed me to have my lunch whenever I wanted to, I didn't have to eat breakfast at 7 AM or search for food the first thing after getting dressed, and plus I only had to purchase two meals a day versus three.

   #3. Yes, you are the only Black Girl in the world.
As everyone continues to stare and stare at you, many of the stereotypical thoughts we've had may come to mind. "It's cause I'm black, isn't it?" Yes.
"I mean, am I the only black person on this Earth? Damn." ..Yes.
"They looking at me like they've never seen a black girl before.".. well
Truth is, many of them have not seen our type in actual human flesh form. That and the black people they have witnessed are celebrities or frequently on TV or the internet.. places that seem real but are not real life yet still. It may be your first solo trip? Well often times when traveling to Asia or developing countries, many local people have never even been on a plane, much less seen and interacted with people who do not look like them. You can research this as much as you wish prior to your departure and read up on their culture or habits, but nothing and I mean nothing will prepare you for the stares, the long glances, and for goodness sake, the children pointing and laughing, speaking in their dialect to their parent and watching the parent attempt to avoid your eyes. We know when someone is making fun of us; you don't need to know the language. The best thing to actually do is equip yourself with an extra dose of patience and a reminder that they just may not know. It's not an excuse but it's the truth. Another thing, stop wallowing in your annoyance long enough to spark up a conversation if they speak English, maybe starting with "Why are you so surprised by my skin color?" and see where that takes you.

   #4. #SoloGoals
Solo traveling is exhilarating, it's anxiety-ridden, and hip but there are so many things people never think about when it comes to traveling by yourself. It can actually be far more expensive than even just traveling in twos, depending on where you go. And then, no matter how alluring the destination may be you always have to take into consideration how safe it is to be there by yourself. If you find yourself at a very tourist heavy destination or a couples friendly, honeymoon spot, be prepared for many private tours and cost of activities to be based off of a two person minimum and it may not be the easiest of tasks to find a pre-existing group to be added to. In my experience I've seen for 2 people minimums, the price per head be $35/ea. but for solo it be $80. Just be prepared to search and search around, don't stop at the first price you see. As I stated before, a transportation driver could be an effective tour guide too as far as getting to the location goes; if you don't mind getting that information and being on your own to explore the land in something like a self-made "tour" if you will, I say go for it. I definitely did that a few times of my own, it may not be as informative but it gives you the opportunity to form your own opinions and not be constrained to a group, a price, or a pace. Not your thing? Tripadvisor was a great way to browse through a multitude of tours, attractions, and things to do within the different cities I wanted to visit and it also was my baseline for my loosely drawn itinerary. Be mindful the prices they list are usually based off of the biggest group number possible, don't be fooled by the click-bait.
No matter how much you love your own company and how attractive the thought of solo traveling can be, how glamorized it is on social media, it can get very lonely and quite anxiety driven. There were times where I forgot I was on my own and felt free as Willy, there were other times my anxiety peaked and I'd triple check over my shoulder. Researching your destination doesn't just end with the most picturesque place, it should begin with safety protocols. Some places are known for finding love, some are known for snatching young black women and selling them. These are facts. Find out more of how I secured my safety in my next post but for now remember these tips: 

  • If your intuition is telling you something is off? Believe it.
  • When you first arrive to your villa/hotel, take a walk outside your surroundings in the daytime and get familiar before you ever just gallivant by yourself at night
  • Do not pick fights with locals or haggle to the point of arguments. Some things are better off just left alone.
  • Take suggestions from locals but be sure to do your own research about the attractions/venues. Everyone seems friendly and helpful until they are not

   #5. Plan for your Best. Prepare for your Worst.
No matter how much planning goes into your trip, it can all be to shit and you'll have to deal with it and learn from it. It can be amazing, truly eye-opening, but it will beat your ass all the way to get to that point. I wanted so badly to just go with the wind, not plan every day to the T because that's my personality but I also didn't want to get to a whole new country, continent everything, and not know what to do, thus wasting days figuring out what I could've tried to map out at home. Then, a series of sadistic events occurred where I literally had to plan everything all over again when I got to Bali. I ended up planning the following day the evenings before because there were so many options and I kept adjusting what I wanted to do and the order to do them in to the weather and my budget. Sooo, in reality I ended up doing what I was for the most part trying to avoid, which ended up being what I'd wanted in the first place... LOL just prepare for the worst and sometimes that just means prepare how you'll react to the worst. It's not all the time you can physically get it right.

     - book your very first hotel before leaving. 
If you plan on exploring or visiting multiple cities, wait until you get there to plan for when you'll leave for the other destinations and where you'll stay. Sade also agrees on this 100%. You could have an amazing tour guide or airport transportation that suggests locals' favorites or hidden gems you never would've found on your own (remember, still verify them) and even better, they know of the places to dine and sleep for the low. They also know which city may not be worth a full two day trip but rather a healthy  half-day excursion and here you would've been out here lookin' dumb and ignorant for a day and a half.

     - wait to book tours/transportation
Similar to the above, you could be wasting your time booking some private tours through an online hack while your airport transportation who is just as knowledgeable could do the same for half the price 

     - haggle like you're broke. which you are
Don't be afraid to lowball, your first price is supposed to be obscenely low. More importantly don't be afraid to walk away because someone will indeed take your price and you don't need to ruffle any feathers

     - please, do not forget an emergency fund
No matter how broke you are, do not go anywhere without a fund preparation for, I don't know, losing everything and having to make up for it in a foreign country. Before I even got to Bali I suddenly had to shell out almost $350 I did not plan for but had to in order for me to have a safe trip but also an enjoyable one without regretting everything. That bump took some hefty change out of my pockets but I'm so grateful I even had it available in the first instance. Don't be stuck and be forced to stay in your hotel eating buffet food for the duration of your trip ~I've read enough online stories okay, believe me~ and even worse don't find yourself in a sticky safety situation because you decided to go the shiesty way of things because it appeared cheap. Traveling is even more about street-smart than it is whatever you're reading in your books.

   #5.5 Skip the foreign ATM fees and scam scares
This is 5.5 because I didn't try this for myself so I can't 100% speak on it but it is worth looking into for any traveler out there, I certainly wish I had thought of it before leaving. I suggest prior to leaving you withdrawing the amount of cash you are of course willing to spend then when you get to your destination, unless you are in a mad rush, wait until you get closer to town or your hotel before exchanging currency. As you should know but maybe you don't, airport rates are crazy low and they will for the most part rip you completely off and leave you short. And don't be confused, in this case low is not good. They are giving you a lower than usual rate to buy and higher rate to sell your USD/home currency. Their rates are competitive..among themselves and they get many first-time travelers because they are "conveniently" placed right when you exit security and customs. Unless you can and need to, wait. I also don't suggest changing all your money at once ~please don't forget the USD is still a heavy weight hitter out here, don't be so quick to let it go because if you have a surplus that you want to change back to dollar.. in no way shape or form are you going to get the same value back~
So let's say your cash is low and you still have a few days remaining with a load of shit to do and food to eat but you don't want to deal with the strife of money conversion with ATM fees of the foreign atm, in addition to the fee your own bank will charge you as well. These days the multitude of money transfer apps, Cashapp, Venmo, Paypal, Zelle etc, have the option of obtaining a physical card with your loaded money on it, as if it's a debit card. Before you leave on your trip, you can set aside some money on a card, I'd choose Paypal because it is more widely accepted but I'd urge you to do your research on this and absolutely move the money prior to you leaving I cannot stress this enough, and use this as an option to withdraw more money. Skip the excessive fees, accept the ease. I've seen many stories online of using these cards to replace credit cards and such, especially in cases where you may have forgotten to notify your bank that you were leaving the country and you tried to swipe and of course your card is now locked. On a Saturday. When your bank is closed. See where it would just be easier to have something where you already moved your money into and it can operate on its own? Look into this if you want more information though, or possibly travelers accounts/cards because as I said I wish I'd thought of it but I didn't utilize this method.

Well. That was a mouthful. And all I've got for y'all for now. Very soon I will have a full run-down of my Bali trip with vlogs and everything to go along with it but as of right now, this solo trip actually took a lot out of me as it poured into me. I hope this how-to helped so many of you all that had questions of how I did it and tips on how you can as well. Like I said before, if you're thinking about it just do it.

xxoo missusmonroe


The Supreme Pussy Complex


If you're a woman, you know exactly what I'm saying. If you're a man, you've fallen deep innademwalls so you know this all too well. The Supreme Pussy! A statement. A badge of .. honor? Right? Well I suppose the real question really is just that: is it an esteemed or deplorable state of mind?

This day in age creatures bearing said pussy, trying to be a PC as possible with that statement can you tell, have heavy ass weights on their shoulders! We have to know how to cook, cook well, clean, be ambitious, be well read, successful at work, get our own money, get your money, don't get too much money, be independent, be vulnerable, suck a dick while on a handstand, all while having a jaw-clenching pay-my-bills pussy and knowing what to dew with it. I'm fucking exhausted. The pressure is on.

Since this is a discussion of she's born with it and not Maybe it's Maybelline, it's clear that since inception women have always been pit against each other. We can't even have a God-given, man enslaving organ without it being in competition with another. Why does there always have to be a number one in anything that we do, touch, or hey, are fucking born with? Why does your pussy-worth have to be critically acclaimed by another? Another who more specifically doesn't even know how to swing his bing much less find your damn hole (beloved). And because some peanut gallery folk are surely going to be screaming, but what about men, they're compared against each other too! Yes. For sure, dicks are certainly scrutinized. But what's not is this mans' resume upon entry.

For us, I've observed we judge more on his girth, stroke game, whether or not it'll be too small, and praise him, jump for damn joy, if he has the bare necessities: a blue text bubble, some form of employment, a mode of transportation where his two feet indeed count, grammatical skills..sometimes .. definitely exclusive to "there" and "their" and the rest "we can work through it. Together." But my sisters, a lot of these men have pussy expectations and just as passionately, if not even more, they have "female" (woman vs. female we'll discuss another timeee) expectations. They aren't fucking you unless you're ambitious, doing supremely well for yourself despite your circumstance ~see paragraph two~ or if your pussy comes with a referral. I'm just saying, if you're going to give the spokesman of your worth to someone still reading on a third grade level, you may as well ask an actual eight year old how they feel about you. I'm positive the answer will be far more insightful.
The pressure is fucking on.

If you are reading this with no prior knowledge of me, it may surprise you that I actually do not believe believing your pussy reigns supreme is a bad mentality. It's confidence boosting and at times welcomes the correct nigga energy and synergies. However! That is because I am well enough with myself (a phrase that sounds so ran through these days, I know) that I am aware more goes into me than thinking highly of the heavenly mountain below. For my women whose only response when they are arguing with the general public/if they are defending themselves against a cheating, lying ass nigga is "but your nigga wants my pussy though", this is indeed for you. What are the actual benefits of bearing a supreme pussy?

Sis why do you think your "supreme pussy" will be what keeps your "man"?
     - Because do not be steered wrong, pussy indeed reigns supreme ~for the nth time~.  Always. All ways. No matter how you flip it. But going from the forest to the tree... your pussy? It may have reeled him in, but it will not be what keeps him there forever. As we have nicely went over, it is not the only puss in the pen and it is actually incapable of being the only pussy in this world of millions of feline, that is number one. Statistics.

Sir, is "good pussy" all a woman can offer you until you're "ready" to "settle down" or is that just all you're willing to outwardly voice?



     - Let's be honest! We know men catch feelings from your touch to your insightful conversation, women we actually know we can offer far more than in-between our legs right... So why allow this sort of conversation dominate? Unless we not-so-secretly enjoy it... Bingo. Flip the script and we are still in someway shape or form a satisfied winner. If your power lies here sis, follow it through. But please keep in mind, navigating this way requires mental training that not all women posses ~accept it~ or will ever be made for (accept it)! Men can be crude, seemingly heartless human beings; making you feel like meat in a world of meat markets ~purchase one for a taste, confidently return it all scrutinized and used up, then nonchalantly purchase another. Understanding this, navigating the complexities of this, and knowing how to also detach any feelings that may arise is necessary if you are going to make your pussy your world tour. Your power. If you can't commit, do not pedestal it.

Sisters, can there be an instance where all of our pussies are top notch across the board?
    - In my humble opinion, this is yet another instance illustrating how women would be stronger together than when we're attempting to one up each other ~cheesy hug moment~. We could each in actuality have supreme pussies. A Pussy Coalition gotdammit. But we're too busy exerting our good, good energy into, and our extremely good pussies onto every other being thus, inadvertently wanting those moments to define us. And wanting those moments to trump a preexisting opinion of another woman. How can we let something so coveted define us when we have all the power to define it.
? 

My beautiful sis, if your pussy was in fact number one, but regardless of your sexual interactions with anyone you were the only one in this world who knew it, how would that define you? That's like talking about a make-believe world only you know exists, it only matters if you think it matters. So why should it matter?

xxoo missusmonroe



Brazilian Secrets. A Red Wine Hair series | @missusmonroe

why


...do we so easily give up on things we claim we love the most? And put so much time into what we proudly proclaim "couldn't care less about"?

why do we take pride in giving up.

xxoo missusmonroe







bryant, kobe


On October 9, an unrecognizable gem was released into the thickets of West Africa, Lagos to be exact, and she's been exuding a special  type of shine ever since.


Captured by Michee


This year was meant for greatness. That I already know. Not only am I speaking it, but I've just had this feeling of "things are reaaally just getting fucking started" ever since relocating. It's wild, back home I don't even think I imagined 23.. As in after graduating I wasn't sitting around imagining my next year.. the furthest I'd sometimes dwell on is just the next day. Hoping and halfheartedly believing the next day would be better than the current. Would be more encouraging than the present. And in those  moments you all know I was writing everything off as dramatics...but hell, being on this side I really see how poisonous life was then, literally less than 6 months ago. The happiness and just simply weight-free life I'm fortunate enough to indulge in right now is a crazy 180 from depression and deeply rooted anxiety. So if through that I was able to accomplish this life, I can only imagine my Kobe.



The shots here were produced on my birthday, not how I expected spending my birthday but I was completely unopposed. It was a great time in fact. This videographer I met at CurlFest reached out to me seeing if I'd be interested in shooting. He was interested in expanding his work and pursuing fashion photography and inquired if I could be a canvas for an afternoon. Now am I denying that?



Pretty wild to think there's an actual category for what I do, particularly because I've been doing it for so long. I'd never imagined to be thrown into something called fashion photography, well blogging wise. I haven't figured out yet if I like it or not lol cause honestly I don't like categories or pooling and generalizing but for this moment it's whatever.




The unity of this outfit, cause I haven't detailed my pairing mental in a lil minute, came pretty organically as usual. I'd been eyeing this denim jumpsuit from Nastygal since June and finally purchased it in September ~don't ask. The green stole my heart as we all know I love me a good emerald to forest baby, and the denim touch licked me up right after. It does (more than) enough on its lonesome so since I'd wanted to do something different with these locs, I pulled it back with a little wisp on the sides. 
Shoes. *gag*
Even though they're usually my favorite necessity, always my most difficult part unless I already have shit mapped out. Which. Of course I didn't. Thus! I reached into my magical, endless box, crate, of foot magic and grabbed some shoes I haven't worn in what feels like ages and it seemed to just come together from there. 



Thank you to Michee for these visuals; when I say I'm in love I cannot be lying. I took my hand at editing as I at times, always, do ~midas touch
How are y'all loving this green? Don't answer that. I already know.

xxoo missusmonroe