The Roast of the Met Gala 2019
Billy Porter the golden mockingbird, Harry Styles' accomplice gave us a take on white Jesus like only a white boy with long hair would, and the world just seemed to continue to mock the black opinion with their flaunting, slapping, of Gucci on everything. The Met Gala of 2019 everyone! All night I had to stop myself from completing the "she looks like a peacock" sentence because well.. that was the point I suppose.. clearly on many of occasions. And the biggest disappointment of the night aside from the tennis shoes on the carpet, was the realization that RiMETGALAhanna wasn't even in attendance! Via Instagram of all places. The audacity!
FIRST, let's get the theme out of the way. CAMP: NOTES ON FASHION. A love of the unnatural, of artifice, and exaggeration. NOT in terms of beauty, in terms of stylization. I beg of you to please keep this in mind! We know how much I love themes, I take this shit to heart haha. If you can’t dress to the theme, stay at home! In my most honest of opinions, it’s just not that hard to miss out or duck the cameras: if you looked beautiful but not on theme you will in fact get benched in my book.
Do note this is written in reaction style. Continue.
The Ga of all GaGas gave a "most entertaining" show like we all could’ve blindly guessed she would, but I actually admired a lot of the little details that went into it all. With the mini bows, the Telephone facials, it's almost as if she was giving us a bit of her 2009 catalog that many of us, okay me, so long to have back. But could we have gotten rid of that damn bra? I also was praying, begging for more seamlessness but quite honestly the mayhem fed right into the theme of the night, it wasn't about beauty and perfection.
Do note this is written in reaction style. Continue.
The Ga of all GaGas gave a "most entertaining" show like we all could’ve blindly guessed she would, but I actually admired a lot of the little details that went into it all. With the mini bows, the Telephone facials, it's almost as if she was giving us a bit of her 2009 catalog that many of us, okay me, so long to have back. But could we have gotten rid of that damn bra? I also was praying, begging for more seamlessness but quite honestly the mayhem fed right into the theme of the night, it wasn't about beauty and perfection.
Serena gave me goddess yellow/lime and hibiscus simultaneously; the color was great I just wish she did something with her hair, a moisturized up-do preferably, but just something. However her makeup?? Without flaw.
There was blood red dress I cannot for the life of me find but it was a lot of great things! I know it means absolutely nothing without showing it but my goodness, the texture of the bodice was almost like reptilian skin, I live!
Why were the men either giving boring 3 piece or Woodstock? It was annoying to be quite frank, but men at these usually get a pass. The above look was one of the more refreshing get-togethers, suit wise but it still wasn't supremely impressive.
Now Regina.. LOL this was not it. Her wig was serving very much so synthetic Yara, if you know you know and we all know, her outfit was giving me incomplete and her confidence in it was very much so I could think of a million other places I could be. And for the love of God what were those Metallica platforms? I just think the color choice..the outfit choice could’ve been much better.
Hamish, this would've worked if it wasn't giving everything of That's So Raven. And I know everyone knows exactly what denim jacket with this string attachment I'm referring to. I was alive for the drama and fingerwave (yes singular) y'all, I swear I was.
Now. This metallic gold frock was everything I've ever loved, don't mind that she can tap dance her way onto a nearby musical with those feets, but with this bodysuit Celine can tap tap tap anywhere.
Janelle Janelle Janelle... we did not deserve! If not for the fact that it was far too pretty, this would for sure be my best dressed. I know it's hard to imagine because where but I just wish there was a dash more of drama, just a dash!
Kim looked.. not pictured on my fucking blog lol but honestly less than impressive to me; however, I'm assuming after finishing her exams she just didn't have time to properly prepare. I feel as though her Met carpet looks all mirror each other in a way, some dress that shows off her doctor’s work and a pursed lip. That’s all we really get. I later learned she was giving either raindrops or teardrops.. I was still left duly impressed.
Some final thoughts:
All the frills and wings of the night were cute but they were not on theme. Camp isn't beauty based it's stylized based, hence only the inclusion of some notable looks in this brief recap. A costume party with hardly any costumes, I'm so disappointed! The few times you can go above and beyond with little judgement. Yet, there was too much beauty and not even risk which, no matter how many feathers or holes you put in the frock, still leaves it safe. From the Kardashian-Jenners to that one Hadid, too put together, not enough exaggeration. Then you turn to Zendaya and you get too much imagination running, a take on Cinderella and fairytales maybe but the entire ensemble? Taste is still necessary my good people.
Fucking galactica? Camp, not space camp.
Ain't It:
fucking embarrassing.
IT:
In my best opinion... Cardi won. She stuck to the theme and she looked damn good in it. From her always regal poses to the blood clot color, I mean she literally dished. Then we get news that this dress was hand embroidered by 35, 35 people! For over 2,000 hours! Give me dedication, give me commitment, and give me drama or I don't want it! And then she stuck to the theme and had the nerve to make it look stunning. Fashion ladies and gentlemen. Janelle was definitely right on her heels, it was just too perfectly placed for me. Who did you absolutely adore from the first Monday in May?
xxoo missusmonroe
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